The Adventures of Ianto Jones
by Torchwood456
Summary: Ever wondered what might be inside Ianto's diary or what his views are on the episodes of Torchwood?
1. Meeting Gwen Elizabeth Cooper

**So, this has been in my head for a while and I've finally managed to get it written down after a week of being really busy. Anyway, I hope you like it and please review telling me what you think. I'm not sure whether to continue with the other episodes.**

Meeting PC Gwen Elizabeth Cooper

Yesterday, Jack, Suzie, Owen and Tosh ran off to a crime scene to test the Resurrection Glove on another victim, leaving me alone in the hub… again. It's rather peaceful and calm in the hub without Owen around and at least when the team aren't around I can spend more time in the basement. Lisa seems in less pain than usual and I think I've managed to track someone down who can help us. So I'm not complaining about being left in the hub alone. Though it is rather strange how so many people have been murdered in such a short period of time since we've started the research on the glove… perhaps it's murder season? I don't know. Anyway, they were watched by one PC Gwen Cooper as they brought John Tucker back for two minutes… I suppose someone was going to find out what was going on with the Glove anyway… it was only a matter of time I suppose.

Why did they let a police officer see them though? They're trained to ask questions and investigate. No wonder she ran after Jack when she saw him in the hospital. Really, if you ask me, the team need to remind themselves that Torchwood is a SECRET organisation. Maybe I should prepare some lessons to remind them? Hmm… anyway, Jack managed to lead PC Cooper straight to the corridor where the Weevil was hidden… very professional Jack! Apparently, a Porter followed PC Cooper through and got mauled by the Weevil though I'm not sure how much of a reliable source Owen is. Do the public not understand what it means when a corridor is sealed off? Danger? Do they even know the meaning of danger?

After watching the terrifying incident, PC Cooper decided to run out into the road (how clever) right in front of the SUV while I was trying to make a quick getaway. Thankfully she moved out of the way after I had hit the horn… how stupid are some officers? Running straight out into the road? She, being trained to investigate, as I mentioned earlier, jump into her car and raced after us. As the rest of the team got out of the car, she even called after them, I heard Owen moaning about how if the security officer hadn't have distracted her, she would have followed them in. I always knew security officers would come in useful one day… didn't know how though.

The team spent the rest of the day watching PC Cooper on the CCTV. They wasted the time they could have been doing their spare paperwork staring at the television screen, obviously expecting me to do all of their paperwork. Do they realise a team means that everyone scrubs in, including the boring parts like the paperwork? PC Cooper even turned up late at night, distracting Owen from the paperwork I had finally managed to persuade him to do. While I tried to persuade Owen to get back to his paperwork, PC Cooper found a way into the hub; taking on the persona of a pizza delivery girl… she even had the pizza!

Owen succeeded in ruining the plan of ignoring her by laughing and finally admitted he was a twat! One confession down, an uncountable number left to go! Oh well, it's still progress I suppose.

Before PC Cooper had turned up, Jack had told me to get some Retcon ready for him so after he had shown PC Cooper the Weevil she had met earlier; I slipped the Retcon into Jack's pocket before he took her off to the pub and applied the retcon.

After deleting the notes PC Cooper had made on her computer to remind herself about Torchwood, I left the hub for the night.

The next night, PC Cooper turned up outside the Millennium Centre once again. As Owen, Jack and Tosh were catching up on much needed paperwork, which they had been working on all day (maybe it's just quicker if I do it myself?) and I was busy making coffee to give them the energy to stay in the hub all night to finish their paperwork, if they needed to, Suzie was the only person who saw that PC Cooper had returned.

A few minutes later, Jack hurried off with a worried face, leaving his paperwork on the desk. How can I explain to the team how important the paperwork is? They just don't seem to be able to grasp the aspect that protecting the Earth isn't the only important part of this job, paperwork is important too. I seemed to be the only one to realise that.

I ended up being forced to forgive Jack for running off and leaving his paperwork as Suzie had been the person who had murdered the three bodies the team had tested the body on earlier. She had also planned on murdering PC Cooper too and this event led PC Cooper to remember all about Torchwood which was just what we needed. Suzie, for some crazy reason, had shot herself, leaving an empty place on the team. Jack went out with PC Cooper… again. That time he had gone without any Retcon so I had no idea what he was planning on doing with her. I didn't really mind though, as long she doesn't show up outside the Millennium Stadium and distract everyone from their paperwork again. I suppose that was partly Suzie's fault too though… the joys of encouraging people to do their own paperwork… you know sometimes I think they rely on me too much.

Jack later returned to the hub with the one and only PC Cooper… she can't seem to stay away. We were informed she'd be taking Suzie's place on the team. You know, it seems to be much easier to get on the team since I've joined. All PC Cooper had to do was watch someone shoot themselves. I had the hard task of persuading Jack into letting me join with legitimate reasons why I'd be useful. I mean no offence to PC Cooper when I say this but I have no idea how PC Cooper's going to help within the team. Jack claims she'd 'remind us what it's like to be human' however I'm not so sure if Jack realises we are human… just with different jobs to normal humans. Oh well, Jack's the boss. I suppose he knows what he's doing.


	2. Owen's perfect alien

**I've had plenty of time on my hands today so I've managed to write a second chapter. Please read and review telling me what you think of this chapter.**

Owen's perfect alien!

I feel rather sorry for Gwen. You hope for your first day to go smoothly with no mistakes or embarrassing moments occurring. For Gwen, her first day was the total opposite to that. At least Owen got to meet his perfect alien! Let's start from the beginning.

Gwen got called into work the night before she was originally meant to start. A flaming meteorite had flown over Cardiff City and we were informed just after Jack had said we could leave for the night. The meteorite got us stuck in work much to Owen disappointment. I don't understand why Jack, Owen and Tosh couldn't have gone without her but Jack kept mumbling something about how something dangerous could be in the meteorite and it was safer to go with more people… like one person is going to make a difference.

In fact it would probably have been best if Gwen hadn't have gone with them. From what I managed to scavenge from Gwen apologizing all night to Owen muttering under his breath, Gwen had managed to let out an alien gas out into the open by chucking tools about. I've seen Owen and Jack work and I guess they must have been chucking tools around beforehand which gave Gwen the idea of chucking the chisel. Perhaps she's not very good at throwing if she managed to hit the centre of the rock rather than Owen… Do the team even understand health and safety? Maybe I should give them a health and safety lesson along with the lesson about how to be a secret organisation…

The team all looked rather annoyed when they returned to the hub so I decided to try and stay away from them. I don't like getting too involved in the arguments of the team. Unfortunately a report came in from the police about a nightclub death with unusual circumstances meaning I had to go in. I was only in for a few seconds and the discussion going on seemed rather at each other's throats-y.

It turned out the death had been caused by a sex craving alien – only in Torchwood! When the team returned from the nightclub, Gwen seemed rather determined that she was going to find the sex craving alien and dispose of it or something. I decided to make some coffee to help Gwen, especially, get through her first day in one piece. When I got down they seemed to be trying to find out who the alien possessed girl was or something like that through the computer data. The computer only managed to get it down to 119 suspects and the team acted like they had met a dead end. Do they not realise they have eyes for a reason. I suggested looking through the faces but they just ignored me… as usual. Oh well, I'll probably be leaving soon. I've managed to find someone who looks like he'll be able to help her so hopefully we'll be out of here and leaving happily in a few month's time! The team will probably be glad when there's no one around to pester them about doing paperwork. Gwen came up with a different suggestion which everyone seemed to prefer as usual they'd prefer the newbie's suggestion to mine. I'll be out of here soon though so for the time being I'll be able to live with it.

The team returned with Carys (the human possessed by the sex craving alien thing) and Jack sent Carys and Gwen down to the vaults alone for Gwen to interrogate the sex craving alien. If I was Jack I definitely wouldn't have let Gwen go down there alone. She doesn't have any experience with aliens and it was her first day… does Jack have any common sense? From what I heard from Owen, Gwen and Carys ended up snogging which definitely proves my point. Maybe I should give the team common sense lessons... probably shouldn't though; this 'lessons I need to give the team' list is going to get too long.

Gwen soon decided to scrap her initial thoughts of getting rid of the sex craving alien as soon as possible and changed to wanting to help Carys. I'm not sure she's going to do to well with this job. She seems a bit too caring for a job which involves killing aliens and creating fake deaths for the victims of alien rampages… only time will tell I suppose.

As we sat in the conference room eating Chinese we finally got the chance to ask Gwen about Jack. She was no help though and Owen started going on about his idea of Jack being gay. Why does he even care? We were interrupted by Carys' crying which reminded Gwen of the situation and she started going on about how we could sit and eat Chinese while someone fought for their life and then had the guts to accuse us of forgetting what it's like to be human. She does realize she's the new girl and shouldn't really be accusing her boss of things like that doesn't she?

Gwen decided to create a profile of Carys' life to see if it could help us get the sex craving alien out of Carys. I didn't really see how the profiling was meant to help however… it looked rather confusing to me when I managed to get a quick glance at it. For some reason Gwen had stuck up documents of emails and school records. What did that have to do with the case?

Carys managed to escape by taking Owen's swipe card… as well as his clothes. I also managed to save a copy of the CCTV showing everything that happened before Owen deleted it ready to dig out again if Owen does something to annoy me… oh the fun I can have with that tape!

Jack ended up letting Carys out into public after Carys took Jack's precious severed hand in a jar ornament thing hostage. If you ask me, Jack's a bit obsessed with that ornament and Gwen soon managed to snap at him for letting Carys escape. I'm just glad I managed to hide so she didn't come and have a go at me for opening the door. Thankfully, they ran out before Gwen had the chance to find me, to try to find Carys after Owen had figured out what was going to happen to her body if they didn't get the alien out of her fast. It gave me a chance to go and see how Lisa was though; nothing's improving, the sooner I get someone over to help, the sooner I can relax. I have no idea what happened in the end with Carys and the alien, all I know now is that there is no sex craving alien running around Cardiff and as Gwen is screaming at Jack, Carys is probably still alive.

Gwen had such a terrible first day at work in the end, I'm hopeful tomorrow will be better for her. Maybe she is a good member of the team after all; maybe we have forgotten what it's like to be human. I don't know but I do know Gwen will be with us for a while. Jack seems to have taken a liking to her. I wish her good luck with Owen.


	3. Health and Safety Lessons

**Right, I won't usually be updating this quickly but I wanted to get to the next chapter. Ever since I had the idea of this chapter I been looking forward to writing Ianto's Cyberwoman entry. Please read and review! Thanks!**

Why the Torchwood team need Health and Safety lessons

I have officially decided I am giving all members of the Torchwood team Health and Safety lessons. Let me explain why…

Something exciting seemed to be happening as I made a coffee for myself and Tosh. Tosh was telling Owen, Gwen and Jack where their 'target' was. They seemed to be chasing something alien but I had no idea what else was going on. Tosh seemed to be focused on the computer screen more than on me so I took the opportunity to sneak down to Lisa to tell her the good news. I had recently received an email back from Tanizaki confirming he would be able to come and help Lisa. I'm ecstatic and Lisa was happy to hear the news. We'll be out in our cottage home sooner than I thought and I can forget all about Torchwood.

I returned back to the main hub to find Owen, Jack and Gwen were back. Gwen seemed a bit shaken up so I went to make some coffee to try to calm her down. When I returned, handing out coffee, Tosh was checking CCTV cameras and Gwen was snapping at Owen when he suggested she was hallucinating. From what I could make out, Gwen had seen a boy from the past and could feel his emotions at the same time. After everything we've seen, I was surprised Owen was even thinking the event had anything to do with hallucinations. He seems to have started trying to wind Gwen up; maybe I could get him to stop if I explained to him that I had a certain piece of footage saved on my computer. Owen came in helpful in the end, finding Tom Flanagan (the boy Gwen saw at the railway station) in the phone book. After moments of discussion, Jack decided he'd send Gwen to Tom's house with Owen – that's not the best idea Jack's ever had; I probably would have sent Tosh with Gwen but Jack knows what he's doing. He's the boss after all.

I was rather surprised when Gwen and Owen managed to get back to the hub together. I had guessed one of them would have ended up walking back. Perhaps they do get along better than I thought they did. Jack had managed to find out the name of the kid who had previously owned the Ghost Machine, as we had decided to call it. Sean, aka Bernie, Harris sounded like a nightmare to me, as Tosh listed off all his offences. I didn't like the sound of him rampaging around the hub.

The next day Gwen, Tosh, Owen and Jack went off to Splott to try and find Bernie. I'm glad I decided not to go mainly because I got to spend most of the day down with Lisa and I heard Owen complaining about how boring the day was though he did come back to the hub pretty shaken up after watching a young girl being raped and murdered. Owen seemed pretty content on getting revenge on Ed Morgan, the guy who murdered the girl, Lizzie Lewis.

Jack sent Owen, Tosh and myself home after snapping at Owen for getting too involved in what he had seen. While the rest of the team were in Splott earlier that day, I had set up the shooting range before going down to Lisa. I knew Jack had taken Gwen down there to teach her how to use the guns and from what I've seen on the CCTV she's pretty good with a gun. Remind me not to get on Gwen Cooper's bad side. Good luck to Owen when he pushes Gwen over the edge – it's bound to happen sometime.

Owen had managed to find Bernie Harris and Jack, Gwen and Tosh went to go and meet up with Bernie. It turned out the Ghost Machine we had was only half of a much bigger alien artefact. One half shows the past while the other half shows what can happen in the future. Apparently Bernie had only used it once and had seen himself dead. This obviously drew Gwen in, being the caring person she is. She pressed the button at one point… I'm not sure what she saw but it caused panic between Jack and Gwen. The Ghost Machine seems to have caused loads of problems… maybe I should do a 'how to act around alien artefacts' lesson too. The team seem to need help with that – especially Owen and Gwen. Why would you press a button on an unknown artefact? You see, it's times like this when I hate being left out of things – I have no idea what's going on. They must have a proper reason to press the button. Perhaps it tapes into your mind… tells you to press it… I don't know.

It turned out Owen had gone freelance earlier that day and had paid Ed Morgan a visit to try and frighten it however our friend, Bernie Harris, had managed to get there first and tried to blackmail him. It's nice how some humans treat each other, isn't it? When they'd found this out, Gwen was already at Bernie's place and Owen and Jack decided to go and join her, leaving myself and Tosh alone again. Tosh seemed to be left out at times as well though it was lucky she stayed behind. Ed Morgan for some reason had left his house for the first time in decades and had gone towards Bernie's flat. Ed had met up with Bernie and Gwen with a knife, Owen had grabbed it and started making threats about killing Ed. How bad is this team with Health and Safety? I really need to do some work here. Gwen then managed to get it off Owen and stood with it pointed forwards in her hand. More Health and Safety problems? I don't believe this. Surely both of them were taught health and safety. Ed had walked towards Gwen straight into the knife, killing himself.

Once everyone got back to the hub, the Ghost Machine was placed into the secure archives, the best place for it and I informed the team I was going to give them a lesson in Health and Safety. They didn't seem happy with it but after what had just happened, I wasn't been talked out of it.


	4. The Biggest Monster of All

**I'd like to say thanks to everyone who are reading and following this story and also to .397 for reviewing all three chapters. This chapter took me ages to write… it turned out to become much longer than I thought it would to so I hope you like it! Please review telling me what you think of this chapter.**

The Biggest Monster of All

We've met Weevils, Sex craving aliens, Slitheen and Sycorax but we've never been able to name the biggest monster of them all. Now, however I know the answer and I hereby name Captain Jack Harkness the biggest monster of all…

It was the day… the day had finally arrived. Doctor Tanizaki had arranged to come. I'd met him already but this was the day he finally did something to help Lisa. I was on the phone to Jubilee Pizza when he arrived. I almost ran in joy up to him, finding it difficult to hide my excitement. This was the day I'd been waiting for! I led Tanizaki down to the basement and showed him Lisa. As I looked at her, half of her body covered in metal, I hoped this would be one of the last times I saw her when she didn't look human. My heart was pounding hard at the thought of Lisa being able to walk and move. I found it difficult to explain what had happened back in Canary Wharf, the bad memories flooding back – the screaming, the pain of hearing Lisa's screams. Tanizaki asked Lisa what the last thing she remembered was, Lisa's reply reminded me once again of the screams and pain.

We took Lisa upstairs after that, Tanizaki managed to make it so Lisa could breathe without the machinery. At first things didn't look good, I thought I'd lost her… again but hope flared again when Lisa awoke, breathing herself. The dream we had shared for the past few months was finally beginning to come true! The sudden beeping of machinery stopped the celebrations, the team were on their way back but at least Lisa was breathing by herself. It was a step closer to being completely human again. Tanizaki helped Lisa back to the basement while I tidied the autopsy room. I ran to help Lisa and Tanizaki however I realised from the slow pace Lisa was walking at I wouldn't be able to get back to the hub before the team got back. I promised Lisa I'd go back to her once the team had left again and made my way back up to the hub.

I didn't manage to get back before the team however as they seemed too busy with whatever they were doing, at first, they didn't seem to notice me. As I walked past Owen, Jack called for me… at first I thought he'd caught me and I stopped walking… turned out he was only after coffee. I sighed a sigh of relief, if the team found out about Lisa before Tanizaki had finished his work chaos would emerge. I quickly nodded.

As I was making the coffee the hub had a power surge. I knew it was probably coming from the basement and panicked. If the team made their way down there they'd find out about Lisa and execute her. I quickly came up with a rather lame excuse… thankfully the team took the lie and let me go down alone.

I sprinted down towards the basement, confused and worried - if what was going on had anything to do with Lisa it probably meant there wasn't much time until the team discovered what was really going on… She'd killed him… Tanizaki had been murdered, ruining our plans to return Lisa to her human body… she'd ruined everything and then I had to somehow hide Tanizaki's mutated body. Everything had gone so wrong… it was never meant to have happened like this. No one was meant to have died. Lisa stupidly started the cyber conversion unit again, sending Owen and Gwen down to find out what was going on. I should have known they'd find out about her at one point… Why did they have to find out when she wasn't thinking properly though?

I made my way back to the basement. I managed to get there just in time; Jack was stood, ready to shoot her. I pushed him, just in time, giving Lisa time to run. He didn't understand she wasn't thinking properly. All he thought about was what happened at Canary Wharf and how Lisa was going to destroy his precious Torchwood. Didn't he realise I'd thought through all of that? Lisa was more human than the things that took down Torchwood One.

She had tried to convert Gwen into a Cyberman. We managed to stop the machinery but that involved locking ourselves in but I knew Lisa would have finished her killing spree and wouldn't try to kill us anymore. Jack however seemed to think differently and we made our way back up to the hub. I'm not so sure he saw me as a team member at that point, from the way he was pointing his gun at my head I think he saw me as a prisoner, perhaps an alien.

When we got back to the hub Jack started questioning me. The questions he asked made it seem like he thought I was a Cyberman in disguise or something. He doesn't understand what it's like when you're in love. None of them know what it's like to be in love, apart for Gwen but that is different. She is allowed to live with her love. I not and it's not fair. Jack expected me to help him and to kill Lisa. Shows how much he understood about what was going on. He hadn't listened to me as per usual. I was beginning to see why Jack has so many enemies. All he cares about is himself and his emotions. He doesn't give a shit about anyone else's feelings or emotions.

Lisa arrived in the hub and it was my turn to be heroic. To save the whole team and to save Lisa. To prove that I was right. That Lisa was no monster and that it's not only Jack who can be a hero. She wouldn't listen. She could herself disgusting and wrong. She wouldn't listen to me… maybe I should be used to it. I suppose I'm used to it from the team but not from Lisa. I was suddenly raised into the air and chucked by Lisa. It had all been a bit of a blur… the last thing I can remember was pain… pain in my heart.

The next thing I can remember after that was waking up in Jack's arms. I was confused and had no idea what was going on. I stared at Jack hoping he wouldn't tell me they had killed her. A mechanical scream finally gave me my answer and I remember jumping to my feet, hoping I'd get there in time but I was too late. By the time I got to the autopsy bay Owen had already killed her and all Owen and Gwen could do was make up excuses about how it was too dangerous to let her live and how they had no choice but to kill her. Everyone has a choice, they just chose to listen to Jack's words of advice (whatever they had been) when he had known nothing. They had no right to judge whether Lisa was allowed to live or not. If it had been Gwen's precious Rhys I bet things must have been different.

I was snapped out of my anger and sorrow when Lisa's eyes flew open. I didn't know what to do and I stumbled back - I should have stayed by her side. Then perhaps things wouldn't have turned out the way they did. Maybe if I had stayed with her I would be writing something different to this. I could be sitting in our cottage now, far away from Torchwood with Lisa by my side and writing about how I saved her instead I'm writing about how I sent her to her death. Instead of staying with her I ran, I deserted her. I let what Jack had said get inside me and twist my judgment for a split second. The time it took for me to remember the person Lisa actually was I was already being held back on the slab of pavement, watching Jack squirt sauce all over Lisa – knowing the Pterodactyl would be appearing any time soon. I tried to help her, I hope she realised that but Gwen and Owen were too strong for me and before I knew it, the pavement was rising up and I was watching as the Pterodactyl swept in and started attacking Lisa.

We finally got to the outside world and Tosh ran over happy, celebrating. For me this wasn't a time for celebrating and I couldn't keep my hatred in of Jack for much longer. I finally managed to hit him, reminding him of what he had done. I hope the guilt stays with him for years. If he deserves anything, he deserves to live in guilt for the rest of his life.

I stepped back and listened as Tosh explained how we would be able to get back inside the hub any second. This was my chance to prove to Lisa once again that I hadn't given up on her and to apologise for everything I had done and for deserting her. I ran. I wanted to see her, to make sure she was alive. I could hear the others running after me. They were trying to stop me but I wasn't going to leave Lisa again. I got into the tourist office and grabbed my gun from behind the counter. There was a small glimmer of hope that Lisa would still be alive and if she was I was not going to let the team run in and execute her again. As they ran in to the tourist office I threatened them but Jack was too quick for me and expected me to go in and kill Lisa if she was still alive. Did he really expect me to do that? He started going on about how much of a monster she was but I wasn't going to let Jack manipulate my actions again however that didn't work and I ended up letting him get into my mind again…

When I found Lisa she had transplanted her brain into the body of the pizza girl. I didn't know what to do – my head was telling me to shoot her while my heart was telling me not to. My heart won the battle in the end and I stepped back trying to make up a plan of how we could get away. My thoughts were interrupted by gun shots – the team executed her. Just as Jack said he would do…

Why do plans never work? Why do people have to go and mess them up? What's the point in life when it's so full of suffering? Why can't I be happy? I guess I was stupid enough to believe she was any different. I can see that now but things were different at the time. I thought she was still Lisa – my Lisa, the happy Lisa. I know Jack could have saved her though but he didn't. He murdered my Lisa and that is why he's the biggest monster of all.


	5. The Stone Woods

**So this is what happens when I find my Physics homework too confusing to complete… I'm not so keen about this chapter – probably because I didn't like the episode. Thanks to .397 for reviewing the previous chapter. Please read and review!**

The Stone Woods

I was looking at reports of funny weather patterns late one night when Jack started talking from his office, making me jump. We spoke for a bit, rather awkwardly and I explained why I was in the hub so late one night, explaining the weather patterns. I hoped he would have told me what he was doing but as usual there was no such luck. I don't know why I even wanted to know in the first place or even let my hopes raise that he'd tell me. He never tells us anything – he knows everything about us but the thought of us knowing everything about him seems to scare him.

The next day Jack took Gwen to a talk about Fairies. Jack had asked myself, Owen and Tosh if we'd go with him at first and had made the mistake of telling us the presentation was about fairies so when Gwen arrived, Jack didn't tell her what the presentation was about and just dragged Gwen out with him. I'm rather glad I didn't go because from what Gwen said it was a rather boring presentation. Instead I got stuck with Owen and manage to hint to him about the footage I still had saved on my computer. His expression was hilarious and he started threatening me about how he was going to hack onto my computer and delete it what he doesn't know is I have a copy on my memory card in case he does manage to hack my computer (which I highly doubt he'll be able to do). I explained to Tosh about what was happening between me and Owen and from the look I got on her face she won't agree to help Owen hack my computer if he asks.

When Jack and Gwen finally got back the team went straight up to the conference room. I didn't really want to sit and listen to the history of fairies presentation that Tosh was about to give so I managed to give the excuse of making coffee for them to miss at least the beginning of it. When I entered the room with the coffee, Tosh had a picture of a fake painting or picture of fairies up on the television screen and we got to find out about Gwen writing an essay on the Cottingley glass-plate photographs when she was at school – such fun!

We finally got to some interesting history when Owen explained that Roundstone Woods (the woods Estelle had found the fairies in) had always stayed wild and that even the Romans had stayed clear of it. Jack then decided to go all dramatic when Gwen asked if the machines could pick the 'fairies' up his reply was 'nothing can'. At that point I decided to leave before Jack had the idea of us all running off on a goose chase to the woods to try and find the fairies.

I'm glad I did leave as a few minutes after I had left Owen exited the conference room moaning about having to go and chase after evil fairies. I was glad Jack was keeping Owen busy, it gave Owen less chance to try and hack my computer. I asked Tosh if she could set up a programme to alert me if someone was trying to hack my computer but apparently there's no such programme around that can do that yet and that she was too busy to create one – spoilsport.

Later we got a report of a death in a police station with rather strange circumstances. A man had apparently been murdered in his own locked cell. I informed Jack of the reports and he took Gwen and Tosh with him to the police station. Why couldn't Jack have taken Owen with him? I managed to catch Owen trying to hack my computer, testing passwords like 'coffee-forever' and 'ilovecoffee' and… well… you can guess the rest! When I announced my presence he quickly changed to a different tab on his computer – I think he guessed I hadn't seen what he was doing. I've now changed my password to 'ilovecoffee' thinking Owen isn't going to try the same password twice.

I was standing behind Owen, watching him try to hack my computer again when Jack, Gwen and Tosh ran out of the conference room. Jack was in front and was calling Owen as he ran down the stairs. Owen jumped to his feet and ran after Tosh, Gwen and Jack as they sprinted out of the hub, leaving me stood in the middle of the hub confused and uninformed. I had no idea where they were going or why Jack was in such a hurry and panic.

When they finally returned, Jack looked rather upset and annoyed. I asked the rest of the team what happened but I don't think any of them wanted to talk about what had happened. All I found out from Tosh was that Estelle had drowned in her dry back garden. I'm pretty sure I can count Tosh as a reliable source and I know she wouldn't make something like that up but how could someone have died in their dry back garden? I decided to leave for the night if no one was going to tell me what had happened there was no point in me staying to help out. Jack looked like he wanted peace anyway and I managed to hint this to Tosh and Owen who left with me.

The next day we were in the conference room and Tosh had her weather mapping computer programming up on screen. The programme alerted us about strong weather patterns coming from Coed y Garreg Primary School. Tosh desperately tried to calm the programme down after it started going crazy and beeping. Jack told her to leave it while running out of the conference room obviously planning to go to the school to find out what was going on. I watched them go and stood in the conference room unsure of what to do. Before I would have gone down to see Lisa but I can't do that anymore… she's gone… I'll never be able to sneak down to the basement again when the team leave me alone in the hub. I decided to clean the hub – it was already rather clean but I had nothing else to do.

I don't know what happened much after the team left. Tosh managed to tell me that they found the chosen one but Jack let the fairies take her which proves my point from what happened with Lisa. He likes to think he's a hero but he's the biggest monster of all.


	6. Torchwood's Unique Team Bonding Exercise

**Wow! I knew this chapter was going to be long but I didn't realise it would be this long. In this chapter there is a strong friendship between Tosh and Ianto – this is only a friendship, nothing more. I have also written about why I think Ianto has 'never liked camping' – what I have written is just my thoughts and isn't proven in the show. Also the thoughts Ianto has when Owen is being blamed about leaving the keys in the car is something that has always annoyed me as Jack was in the car while the team were talking about their last snog. I'd like to say thanks to .397 for reviewing every chapter as well as checking through this long one and adding small suggestions into the story, all of which I kept in. Anyway thanks for reading this chapter and please review because this chapter has taken me about three or four hours to write.**

Torchwood's Unique Team Bonding Exercise

A team bonding exercise is important when it comes to working as a team I suppose. It helps the dynamics of a team and creates a good friendship between the team however when the team bonding exercise involves a knife being pushed against your throat the dynamics of a team isn't shown and panic is the only emotion that can be seen. How do I know this? From first-hand experience…

It all started by one single text message early in the morning from Jack simply stating: _Team bonding exercise. Get to the hub now. _Typical Jack – he can never actually wait until the usual time to do whatever it is he wants to do. When he thinks of something to do he calls us in expecting us to be happy he's woken us up early. We have our own lives to worry about outside of Torchwood just because his life is all just about Torchwood doesn't mean ours is. He tells Gwen not to drift away from normal life but it's fine for him to pull us away from normal life. Because of this bloody job I spend hardly any time with my family – that's hardly fair.

I was the second person to get to the hub, well first if you don't count Jack who was already there long before he had sent the text message. I suppose everyone expects me to turn up first – good, loyal Ianto who you can always rely on not to ask questions. The man who is only part of Torchwood just because the team can't live with normal coffee. I was too annoyed to face Jack when I got to the hub so I went straight to the kitchen and made coffee for everyone for when they turned up. I guess Jack thought that was the only reason I went up because he smiled at me when I walk past. He acts as if nothing happened. He acts as if the event with Lisa never happened. I believe he expects me to act like that too but how can I ever forget my boss murdered my girlfriend? Everything seems to centre around Jack. If Jack wants to forget something, the rest of the team forget the event. If Jack wants coffee, he gets coffee. If Jack wants to go on a random camping trip, Jack gets to go on a random camping trip.

In the end Owen's coffee went cold. We had been waiting for him for two hours when I suggested we should go round to his flat and drag him out which is exactly what we did. When I thought about it, Owen had a good idea – I could tell he purposely ignored Jack's text and I wish I'd done the same or at least let Tosh or Gwen get to the hub before me so I didn't have to face Jack's 'Lisa was never here' act.

We were soon driving down a country lane listening to the joys of Owen's complaining about the countryside. We seem to have forced personalities within Torchwood – Owen has to be grumpy most of the time when there is obviously a caring side to him. I have to be loyal when everyone's seen how I disobeyed everyone with the Lisa episode however they seem to forget about that. Tosh has to be quiet when she has some pretty good ways of cheering people up. Gwen has to be caring when there's a side to her that isn't caring at all. Jack has to act as a hero when he's no hero at all. I snapped out of my thoughts and smiled when I realised Owen hadn't been there when Jack had explained we'd be camping overnight so I was looking forward to seeing Owen's face when he found out we were camping. I wasn't that happy about going camping myself but no one seemed to care about what I thought. I was just the member of the team that did everything I was told to do. At least going camping stopped Owen from spending every spare minute he has trying to hack onto my computer when he should be doing the paperwork that was piling up by the side of his desk.

We pulled over by a burger van and I ordered four burgers as Jack had asked me to do without any complaining yet do I get any thanks? Nope. Tosh, Gwen and Jack stood around the car looking at a map on the car bonnet and Owen stood a few paces back – he was still complaining. Jack finally told us another reason for the sudden decision for a team bonding exercise – seventeen disappearances within the last five months. Surely that was a record? Added to the high amount of disappearances, none of those bodies had been found. I was carrying a burger towards Owen when he made a comment about all those seventeen people choosing the same place to commit suicide – how logical Owen!

Suddenly the moment came that I had been waiting for when Jack decided on a place to set up camp. Owen was just about to take a bite of his burger when he heard the word camp and froze, checking with Jack to see if he had said the word camp. I couldn't help but smirk.

All the way to our camp spot Owen wouldn't stop complaining and I was beginning to wish we had left without him however knowing Owen at the moment he'd have probably spent the whole weekend trying to hack into my computer and with that amount of time on his hands he probably would have succeeded. When we reached the camp spot, he continued to complain. Did he think we'd get so sick of him we'd drive all the way back to Cardiff just to drop him off then drive all the way back to continue the investigation. Owen didn't seem to realise he was stuck with us no matter how much he complained. He also didn't seem to realise he wasn't the only one who didn't want to go camping but then again no one ever asks my opinion or cares to think about my opinion on a subject. We managed to learn the fact that no other race in the universe went camping. Such an interesting fact!

I cannot begin to explain how selfish, thoughtless and annoying Owen is when he in a bad mood (so basically how selfish, thoughtless and annoying Owen is most of the time). He managed to insult Tosh almost as soon as we got to the camping spot. Perhaps it would have been better for everyone if we had left him behind. I do have a spare copy of the footage anyway and it would have saved us a lot of grief. He even accused me of leaving some pieces behind from the tent he'd been trying to put up since we'd got the other two tents up and didn't believe me when I told him that all the pieces were there. No one ever seems to listen to what I saw as Owen opened the instructions and counted all the pieces himself. Why did he hate camping so much? I bet he doesn't even have a valid reason…

Half an hour later Gwen decided to begin the topic about snogging and Owen still hadn't got the tent up. I didn't like where the conversation was going and at one point I had the thought of hiding in the tent so I didn't get involved in the conversation because I knew if the attention turned to me my answer would bring the conversation to a sudden halt however something drew me to sit down with the rest of the group… I didn't want to but my legs weren't listening to my brain. I believe I wanted to remind Jack that the incident with Lisa wasn't forgotten in my mind. As I sat down Tosh asked Owen who he last snogged and Owen smirked, looking towards Gwen. I followed his eyes to Gwen and watched as Gwen's smile disappeared. Owen's reply was Gwen. I didn't really know how to react to that but Tosh uncharacteristically muttered about how it didn't take long for Gwen to get her feet under the table. That's when I remembered about when Tosh tried to cheer me up after the events with Lisa - she had openly admitted her feelings for Owen to me. So when she heard about Owen and Gwen's kiss she must have felt mortified. Jack came across and as usual he didn't answer the question properly but answered in a riddle sort of way. Why does everything have to be mysterious with him? He knows every single thing about us but we're not allowed to know anything about him, how is that fair? I realised it was now my turn to speak and I easily told them it was Lisa. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Jack but he showed no reaction but I could tell I had made impact and shown him I wasn't going to forget about Lisa any time soon no matter how much he wanted me to. As I had guessed, the conversation fell to a complete halt after I said that and there was a long but peaceful silence. Owen decided we needed firewood and decided to go and get some himself, being helpful for the first time since we had reached the countryside. I could tell he just wanted to get away from the awkwardness in the camp but I didn't care how guilty any of them felt. They needed to be reminded that they helped Jack murder her. Gwen stood up and very quickly agreed to go with him – I could see Gwen was feeling very guilty for bringing the subject up but she deserved the guilt. She acted so innocent most of the time she needed to remember what guilt felt like. The two hurried off and I could feel Jack staring at me accusingly, I turned to look at him and sent him a very similar stare back before standing up and going off to make coffee.

Fifteen minutes later Gwen and Owen ran back to the camp. I had no idea what they had been doing as they unsurprisingly returned without any firewood. I should have known that would have happened and gone to get the firewood myself – that way we could get the fire going before it got dark. When they reached the camp however they started going on about a body in the woods.

When we reached the area where the body was lying, Jack told me to tape off the area. As usual I did as he said though I didn't see the point in it. It was highly doubtful someone was going to wonder so far into the woods in the middle of the countryside – I don't understand why Owen and Gwen walked so far to find the body anyway. There was plenty of wood closer to the camp. I was surprised we managed to hear the car engine from how far away from the camp we were but it sounded like the car was driving itself. I'd only just finished taping off the area when we had to run all the way back to the camp. We got back to the camp in time to see the car race off after trashing our camp to pieces. So Jack had taken us out into the middle of the countryside, made us put up three tents then left the keys in the car so we could become stranded in the middle of the countryside – such fun!

A few minutes later I was stood in the middle of the trashed camp looking down on Tosh's hand held device. Thankfully the SUV had a tracker on it and Tosh had brought a device with her that could track the SUV down. The rest of the team was scavenging the ruined camp while Owen apologized for leaving the keys in the car however from what I could remember it had in fact been Jack who was last in the SUV and was therefore responsible for getting us stranded in the middle of the countryside however I stayed quiet like the loyal coffee maker everyone expected me to be and found it quite funny hearing Owen get blamed for it all though it would have been funnier if the right culprit was being blamed for the situation. Nevertheless, if there was one thing I was certain about it was that this whole episode was making me hate camping more than I already did.

Jack then had the clever idea of walking a whole 3.4 miles to where the SUV was stationary. Fifty six minutes later we were stood at the top of a hill looking down at a small and very creepy looking village down in a valley. Thankfully the SUV still hadn't moved meaning we were getting closer and closer to it. We walked down the path heading towards the village and came to a stop outside the first row of houses. Jack ordered myself and Tosh to follow the SUV signal while he Owen and Gwen checked out the first row of houses. I was glad to be paired up with Tosh rather than being stuck with Gwen, Owen or Jack. I enjoyed being in the presence of Tosh rather than anyone else as Tosh doesn't act like the Lisa incident doesn't happen. Instead she's been very caring and helpful to me over the past few weeks since the incident.

Myself and Tosh walked away from the first row of houses, following the SUV signal. As we walked, Tosh asked me about how I was, referring to the incident with Lisa. I answered her truthfully before asking her how she felt about Owen and Gwen snogging though she didn't seem to want to answer that so I left it alone.

We finally reached a smaller row of houses though these were all boarded up and looked spookier than the ones we had left Owen, Gwen and Jack at. We still had another half mile to walk before we got to the SUV however something about the houses in front of us seemed unusual and we went towards them to try and see what was inside them. I tried to open one of the doors to the house but it was locked and wouldn't open. Suddenly there was a screech from a near distance, I tried to calm Tosh by saying it was something like a fox but I wasn't convincing myself. Something weird was going on around the small village and the noise I had just heard didn't sound anything like a fox. I decided to look round the back, hoping we find a reasonable explanation to the weird sounds then be able to go and get the SUV, pick up the others and go back to the hub. As I walked round the corner to the back of the house I was met by Tosh pointing a gun at me. She sighed when she realised it was me and put her gun down. From what I could see, she had no luck getting into the house. I gave up trying to get into the houses and walked up the hill a bit deciding we should just get the SUV and leave though when I said this I got no reply from Tosh. I span around hoping to see her nodding behind me – instead she was nowhere to be seen. I panicked – I was now alone in the middle of a creepy, countryside village and my colleague had suddenly vanished. I gulped and slowly walked back towards the row of houses this time hoping Tosh had gone round to the front of the house but when I called her name she didn't reply. I pulled out my gun as I got closer back to the row of houses. Something managed to sneak up behind me though and knocked me out.

I woke up in what looked like a basement. There was a foul stench which filled the air. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it smelt like but it wasn't good. It was dark, dirty and dusty. At least Tosh was in the same room as me and I didn't have to worry about where she was. She was also more used to situations like these so maybe she'd be able to come up with a plan to get us out of the creepy basement. I picked up a crowbar and sat on a wooden crate while I waited for Tosh to regain consciousness. I waited for about ten minutes before Tosh finally opened her eyes and stood up. I admitted to her that I had never liked camping. Before my eyes I had a flashback of the last camping trip I had been on with my dad. The camping trip that made me hate camping. I remembered watching him drive away. At that time I hadn't realised that that was the last time I would ever have seen him… his body was never found and to this day I don't know if he's alive or dead but for some reason he had left me and Rhiannon alone in the middle of a deserted field staring after the car as it disappeared over the hills. I snapped back to the present day when Tosh finally spoke. I remembered the body in the forest and asked Tosh about it, she quickly told me not to think about it and asked me to try and get the light to work. I knew she was just trying to take my mind off things but I did as she said anyway. I remember snapping out at Tosh and instantly regretting it. I wasn't used to being in a situation like this and suddenly felt very worried and nervous. It wasn't long before we found dozens of shoes stacked up in one of the corners. Tosh also found a fridge and slammed it shut. The expression on her face was one of pure disgust and that face made me more curious to find out what she'd seen. Tosh tried to stop me but I was fed up of being left out of things – I pushed past her and opened the fridge. I stood there breathless. I now wish I hadn't done it – the fridge was full of body parts. My mouth dropped open and I suddenly felt very sick. I tried to prevent myself from gagging. Now I knew what the odour was. The thick stench of rotting flesh filled my mind with images of what might happen to us if we didn't get out of here. I shut the fridge in horror.

We very quickly turned our attention to the door. After we had both seen what was in the fridge we were in a hurry to get out. I suggested calculating the target stress point to find the weakest point and use a bit of brute force to kick the door open. Somehow Tosh knew the door was reinforced meaning the plan of mine was useless. I didn't let that stop me though and I started kicking at the door. Panic was rising through my body and I was determined to get out. A light suddenly turned on from outside the door and I darted to the side so that whatever was on the other side of the door wouldn't attack me as soon as they opened the door. My heart was pounding hard when the door creaked open. A woman entered the room carrying a rifle and I charged at her, trying to tease the rifle out of her hands. I was unsuccessful however and was pushed back onto the floor. The woman moved closer to me, wanting to check any injuries I may have got from when 'they' took me. I moved backwards just before she touched me though, unsure whether we should actually trust her or not. She moved across to Tosh who copied my actions. The woman gave up a moved back asking if we'd managed to call for help. The woman then apologized and explained she had been sent to collect us and that she had to take us to 'them'. I tried to make a run for it but I skidded to a halt when I almost ran into the end of the rifle and I scrambled backwards again. I didn't like where this was going and I definitely didn't think we should trust the woman who was asking us to trust her but also pointing a gun at us at the same time. Tosh however seem to trust the woman as Tosh dropped the crowbar she had been holding, signalling to the woman that was would go with her.

We were taken up some stairs and into what looked like a living room. There was a strong stench from behind us which almost made me gag. I turned round to see a white sheet and stepped through into what looked like a kitchen. Shapes that looked like bodies were hung up from the ceiling and it turned out we shouldn't have trusted the woman as she was involved in the whole scheme. They were cannibals. A man joined the woman and they began to laugh. Once again I tried to make a run for it but once again I was unsuccessful and was pushed onto the floor and handcuffed. The man explained that we were all just meat – how cheerful though I wasn't exactly thinking that at the time. At the time I was panicking and trying to recover from a huge amount of shock. The man and woman walked out of the room for a bit and I managed to tell Tosh to get ready to run before they returned. My heart pounded as I thought about what I was about to do and my legs started to feel like jelly. Myself and Tosh got to our feet as the man picked up a baseball bat and returned to us. The man spoke to Tosh first before walking over to me. I took a deep breath before smiling at the man, he began to laugh – he clearly didn't seem to understand why I was smiling. I whacked my head against his and he fall back. Tosh ran and easily got past the woman. I was a bit dazed at first and winced in pain at the pain in my head. I tried to run but was stop by the man and woman. I was pushed back down to the floor and I watched as the man left with a big knife. All I could do know was hope that Tosh could get to the others and get back to help me before it was too late. Then I was knocked out… again.

The next thing I remember was having a knife held against my throat. I panicked as the knife got closer and closer. The next thing I can remember was being in Gwen's arm and hearing gun shots and Jack's voice so Jack must have worked out what was going on somehow. Maybe he was more of a hero than I thought he was – he had managed to save my life after all…

The car ride home was worse, after Jack had told the police everything we headed back to Cardiff. Jack was driving as he was the only one capable. Maybe he was a hero but with typical Jack Harkness we all suffer whilst he walks away unscathed. The journey was silent apart from some sharp intakes of breath from Gwen when Owen tried to re-dress her wound. I could faintly hear some sobs from Tosh who had nestled herself as far away from the others in the right hand corner. She buried her head into the seat trying to muffle her crying from the team. I unfortunately was stuck in the front seat where jack 'wanted to keep an eye on me.' I don't usually admit when I am scared but I'd be lying if I didn't now. Every time I closed my eyes I saw images flashing through my mind: images of the knife, images of the blood and flesh and images of Tosh so helpless. It was Jack's idea to bring us all camping so I guess I'm inclined to blame him but I think I should have checked the SUV was locked so maybe it's all my fault. After all running after the team is my job. We returned to the hub, I grabbed my coat and headed towards the door. I was anxious to return home. Unfortunately Jack 'I'm a god dam hero' Harkness wouldn't let me; apparently it wasn't safe for me to be left alone. To be fair I can't deny he had a point after all I was almost 'tenderised'. I spent the night on the sofa of the hub, pretending to be asleep. The little sleep I did get was just a blur of pain and fear.

So that was Torchwood's unique team bonding exercise which I would have rather not gone to. I'm shaking now just thinking of the memories. I hope I never have to go through something like that again…


	7. Returning the Favour

**Okay, I'm not very happy with this chapter – it's been quite hard for me to write mainly because I don't like the episode that much so please review telling me what you think of this chapter because I'm not so sure the ending is that good…**

Returning the Favour 

Jack had given us all time off since... well since the 'camping' trip. Not that it did much good though. I had managed to get two weeks off and had only just started to get over everything that had happened. Sleeping was becoming easier though I still had nightmares about what would have happened if Jack hadn't managed to get to us in time. I was glad of the break and not having to run round after the team pretending everything's fine. The break however was over now - I don't know quite what Jack thought a break would do. Did he expect us to come back refreshed? Happy? Not bothered by the fact we were almost eaten by cannibals? I walked into work early that morning hoping I would avoid being noticed. To be honest, I wasn't actually that bothered. Sometimes everything's just a blur. I feel empty and alone. I feel like just a shell of the man I used to be before Lisa died, before all of this. Jack expects me to forget her but how can I? I thought if I got rid of all her things it would help but the absence of her is everywhere I look. I feel cut off from the world. Even when I am in crowds of people I feel alone. In fact I feel more alone than ever. There's a numbness that consumes me every day. It has swallowed me whole and there's no escape. The constant pain is my only reminder I am alive. Though as per usual no one realised how I felt inside apart from Tosh who I had to admit had been acting rather strange that day…

I believe everything started when the team were called to investigate a skeleton of a body that had been found on a building site along with a rather strange looking alien artefact we decided to call the 'stapler'. When the team returned they had no idea what the 'stapler' was and confused me even more when Owen explained it was found by a skeleton of a woman who had died from a gunshot wound – why would a woman die with something like that near her?

I spent most of my time trying to discover what the stapler was, for some reason, apart from Jack; I seemed to be the only person curious about what the stapler was doing with a woman who died from being shot. As I worked, I watched painfully as Gwen accused Owen of not being good at sport. From the moment Gwen said that sentence I knew the event was going to end in tears for someone, especially when Owen told Gwen to throw something at him and even more so when I watched as Owen kicked out the plug to Tosh's computer. As Tosh walked in I quickly turned away so Tosh wouldn't expect me to have played any part in the incident. Owen didn't seem that bothered about what he had done to Tosh's computer to me and was rather insensitive when Tosh started snapping at him and said 'I'd collected every scrap of alien language we have and broke it done into binary threads to see if there was a common derivation.' Or something like that – I don't understand how Tosh can create programmes like that. If only Owen hadn't had kicked the plug out. That programme would have come in very useful for me considering I'm the one who always has to deal with the aliens. Anyway Owen's insensitive reply was something like 'That's a mouthful.' And Gwen began to laugh. If you ask me there is definitely something going on between Gwen and Owen they're not telling us about – they've suddenly got so much closer since the cannibalism incident – maybe they've found out they're cousins of something though I highly doubt that.

When Owen and Gwen had left Tosh at her computer I took the chance to glance over at Tosh – I could see the pain on her face though she desperately tried to hide it. I knew exactly how she felt in fact I'd felt the same way as her plenty of times before. Tosh left not that long after the incident, stating she was going to the pub. To me it seemed pretty unusual for Tosh to want to go to the pub alone so I offered to go with her though in the end she wanted to go alone. Was she coping with the 'camping trip' business worse than I was? I watched her as she left worried but also jealous she was managing to get away from Owen and Gwen's stupid pranks they were pulling and the crazy competitions they were having. At one point they got dangerously close to my coffee machine that I had to sprint over and push them away.

Later that day I decided I wanted to get away from Gwen and Owen's antics. They had almost knocked my precious coffee machine over three times so I was conscious of leaving them alone with it. I had no idea where Jack was so I couldn't ask him. In the end I decided to hurry to the Tourist Information office and quickly bring up the CCTV so I could keep an eye on what the pair were up to. Thankfully they didn't return to my coffee machine again that day so I managed to focus on the mass amount of paperwork Owen couldn't be bothered to do.

The next morning as I walked out of the secret passageway and into the Tourist Information office I met Tosh who flinched as I entered the room. The time she had spent at the pub yesterday seemed to had made her worst – surely she couldn't still be feeling too worked up about the camping trip considering she was used to possibly worst situations than that?

I was wondering around half aimlessly when Jack asked me for one of his industrial strength coffees. When I reached my coffee machine however only a few mugs were placed around it. Maybe Owen and Gwen had nicked most of them yesterday thinking it'd be a hilarious prank. In the shiny coffee machine I could see Owen watching me, smirking. I couldn't believe I had only just realised the mugs had disappeared however I didn't let the situation get to me. A reaction was what Owen was after anyway. I set off on my quest to retrieve the mugs left lying about that Owen and Gwen hadn't thought to hide. I believe they decided not to hide them on purpose as I suppose they wouldn't be able to cope without coffee. I was on the third floor and had managed to find a very small amount of mugs. Thankfully there were a couple left on the third floor so I picked up the mugs in that room. I saw Tosh in the corner of my eye. She seemed a little distant but I still decided to ask if she wanted any coffee – maybe it would help her relax.

I managed to find a few more mugs later that day – two were hidden under the operation table in the autopsy bay and I even found two in one of the cells with the weevils – I'm surprised they weren't smashed to pieces knowing how the weevils could act. I think Owen may have forgotten about the footage I have on my computer – I haven't seen him try to hack onto my computer for a while. Perhaps I can change my password back to my normal one now. 'ilovecoffee' is really starting to get annoying whenever I want to get onto my computer.

It turns out Owen got his initial conclusions about the skeleton from the building site wrong though that shouldn't be much of a surprise. He's been focusing so much on Gwen recently I think he's been distracted from his job. Turned out the skeleton was in fact a man who had died from unidentified trauma with the single thing that could be ruled out being gunshot wound. I don't see why Owen's part of the team, okay, I do, he can be helpful at times but half the time he gets things wrong and spends his time hiding mugs in the basement… I know he hid them there on purpose. He came up to me and told me where they were – it was his idea of a job I suppose. The cyber equipment was all still set up and the pain of entering the room was horrific. I'll be keeping those mugs under lock and key now. There's no way I'm going back into that basement any time soon. At least I've got all my mugs back however Owen had crossed the line and I sent the footage from my computer to Jack and Tosh telling them to do whatever they pleased with the footage.

I was at home when a received a text from Jack simply reading: _get to the hub now. _This was beginning to get a bit repetitive – the last time I got a text like that from him I was almost murdered. I decided to go and find out what was going on anyway and Jack explained very quickly and in a confusing way his suspects on why Tosh has been acting distracted. He then went on to explain what we were going to do so just before the hub door opened, I stepped into a different room. From what I could hear, 'Mary' wasn't disagreeing to Jack's suspects. Myself, Owen and Gwen all came out of our hiding places as Mary explained what happened when she first arrived on Earth. She took note of us entering the room but continued her story. To me, she didn't see very scared of us. Apparently she's been eating people's hearts. The next moment Mary had a knife held against Tosh's throat – I panicked, images of blood squirting everywhere and blood on the knife kept flashing up in front of me.

Jack and Mary decided on swapping the 'stapler' which was in fact a transporter with Mary for Tosh. Was Jack just going to let Mary go? The transporter suddenly turned itself on – a blinding beam of light appeared and within seconds Mary had disappeared. At that point she had been flying towards the sun – towards her death.

I went into the conference room with Tosh. She seemed shaken up, scared and confused. We sat and we spoke. I'm not so sure how long we were in there for but Tosh kept on telling me I shouldn't be with her and that I should be at home. I kept on reminding her how she comforted me after the incident with Lisa. I was just repaying her for helping me. I just hope Tosh gets over everything that happens soon and gets back to her original self. She's the member of the team who seems to be able to understand how I'm feeling like how I can understand how she's feeling – we just connect…


	8. The Risen Mitten

**The chapters seem to be getting longer and longer and Ianto is involved in it more or maybe I'm just getting the hang of it. I'm not sure how long the next chapter will be though. I'm sorry this has taken a while to write and be put up I had a History assessment I needed to do and wanted this chapter to be checked through. Anyway please read and review.**

The Risen Mitten

Suzie Costello – the quiet woman who turned into a murderer because she was so focused on trying to get the Resurrection Glove to work permanently. Suzie Costello – the woman we knew nothing about. Suzie Costello – the woman who murdered herself just before Gwen joined the team. Suzie Costello – the woman who was brought back.

Why does it always happen? Whenever I finally get the whole team to do their paperwork an urgent call comes in, calling them in on some mission. This is exactly what happened today – they all grabbed their sunglasses (don't ask me) and ran out of the hub – I caught Owen's smirk as he left (he was obviously glad he had gotten out of his paperwork… again) and I remembered the e-mail Jack sent me in reply to the footage I sent him explaining how he was thinking of many ways to use the footage. Recently I've been carrying a video camera around with me, wanting to catch Owen's face when Jack finally decides what to do with the footage.

When they returned, they had a murder inquiry on their hands – 3 deaths so far. Alex Arwyn aged 28, single, estate agent then the most recent Mark and Sara Briscoe both 33 and married (to each other obviously). At first I wasn't quite sure how the deaths had anything to do with Torchwood, when I asked, no one answered and Jack just handed me a file with pictures from the scene of the crime. When I saw one of the pictures I got my answer as written on the white walls (in blood) was one, simple word: Torchwood. This happened as the team hurried up to the conference room apparently the police had found a part (I'm not sure which part though as the team was too panicky to tell me) of the killer's body containing compound B67: Retcon. At least the Retcon clue narrowed down the possible suspects down from 5 or 6 million to 2008 – okay I admit not the shortest list of possible suspects ever but at least it was a start. Owen didn't seem to upset about what was happening – in fact he sounded pretty excited saying 'Hey, what if they all become psychotic?' The very simple answer to Owen's question was he wouldn't be able to sleep or rest for days as we would have to be finding a way to stop them from killing. No one else seemed to think of that – just me then.

As we stood up to leave and complete the jobs ourselves Gwen stopped us, asking 'Jack, if there is a link, why don't we just ask the victims ourselves?' Had she gone mad? Did she think we'd be able to die for two minutes and ask them what they saw? No, in fact she was thinking we'd be able to let the victims live for two more minutes, hinting the Resurrection Gauntlet (later to be called the Risen Mitten but I'll get to that in a second). Thankfully both Owen and Jack disagreed… at first however after some mad turn of events (and a lot of persuasion on Gwen's behalf) we soon found ourselves in Jack's office.

As Jack took the Resurrection Gauntlet out of the locked safe it was in and held it up for everyone to see, Owen noted we'd never given it a 'cool' name. I quickly started muttering to myself trying to think of a name. My head instantly started searching for rhyming words and I soon came up with the 'Risen Mitten'. I was pretty happy with myself for that one though Jack looked up from the Risen Mitten and stared at me and Owen scoffed. I glanced around at everyone but no one said anything. No one agreed or disagreed. 'I think it's catchy,' I had shrugged, wanting to break the silence surrounding the room. Owen then suggested the 'Life bringer' and Jack quickly explained that it doesn't really bring life as the highest amount of time we've ever managed to achieve was two minutes. After many more of Owen's pointless suggestions, we finally settled on the Risen Mitten though Owen didn't look too pleased everyone else looked pretty happy with the new name.

Thirty minutes later we stood in the autopsy bay – Owen had set up his equipment, Jack had the Risen Mitten, I had my stopwatch and Gwen… Gwen was standing there being… helpful. In the middle of the autopsy bay lay Alex Arwyn – the first murder victim we were bringing back. As Tosh started recording the events, I stood ready with the stopwatch and waited for Jack to drag Alex back. This however didn't happen and Gwen's plan seemed to run to a halt when we remembered that the glove had only responded to Suzie. I was pretty glad it hadn't worked we didn't need another member of the team getting too attached to the glove. We would just have to solve the case without any alien artefacts however Gwen wouldn't let it go that quickly and in a matter of seconds I was ready once again with the stopwatch this time waiting for Gwen to drag Alex back. As soon as Alex's screaming and yells of help begin I hit the button on the stopwatch. Fifteen seconds in and Jack still hadn't got any information out of Alex – this plan didn't seem to be working to me. After twenty four seconds Alex was gone without giving us any useful information. Gwen wouldn't give up however and she wanted to keep trying, was she already getting attached to the glove?

Next came victim number two and I have to admit I felt very doubtful considering how Alex hadn't given us any information though I waited with the stopwatch and just hoped we would get more information from Mark Briscoe and not have to bring his wife out. When Mark woke up surprisingly there was no screaming, no yelling just heavy breathing. This seemed like it was going to be easier to get information out of him. When Jack spoke to him, Mark replied – we were getting information. He kept muttering about Pilgrim. Thirty five seconds in and Mark was just about to tell us the name of the murderer. My doubts had left me now and we waited for the murder's name: Max. Unfortunately his surname was unknown and when asked for a description, Mark changed the subject and told us about someone who knew him better – a woman. This woman had always been talking to him we'd just have to hope the woman was still alive and easy to find. Her name was Suzie. I looked up from where I was looking at my stopwatch and looked round at everyone else. Could it be a coincidence? Surely there are lots of people in the world called Suzie. I was snapped out of my thoughts when Mark died and I quickly stopped the stopwatch: one minute five seconds – Gwen was a natural. Jack once again got all dramatic when we started talking about the name Suzie and dramatically stated: 'We've been talking to the wrong corpse.' That really didn't make me feel any better. In fact it sort of worried me a little. Was Jack thinking of getting Suzie and using the glove on her? That didn't sound like a good idea to me considering how she tried to kill Gwen. I know she'd be strapped to the table but she may be able to kill someone from there. Don't ask me how.

Thankfully Jack hadn't told Owen to go and get Suzie from the morgue which meant we wouldn't be bringing her back. This seemed like a good idea to me and I could relax know that there would be no more glove using and possible 'Suzie all over again' incidents.

Later we were called into the conference room – Tosh had finally found information about Pilgrim. I had tried looking myself earlier but there had been nothing about any organisation called Pilgrim on the internet. Apparently Pilgrim is a religious support group which is more like a debating society about the meaning of life and if God exists. Tosh had found documents about Pilgrim which had been written up by Sara Briscoe stashed in a wardrobe. Pilgrim wasn't even online. Unfortunately there was no register so we had no idea if Suzie had gone to Pilgrim or not.

After that meeting the team rushed off to the garage where all Suzie possessions were kept. I stayed behind in the hub as usual and tried to find out more about Pilgrim. Once again I had no luck and gave up after ten minutes.

An hour later the team returned to the hub. They were quieter than usual with worried faces. I knew exactly what was happening after I saw their faces – we were bringing Suzie back. I went with Owen to the autopsy bay to help him set up his equipment. He didn't seem very happy we were bringing Suzie back instead he seemed, uncharacteristically, rather worried.

Gwen, Tosh and Jack entered the autopsy room just before we managed to set all the equipment up. I left Owen to finish setting the heart monitor up and pulled my stopwatch out of my jacket. I looked down at Suzie on the examination table. She didn't look anything like a murderer. Instead she looked like the quiet, calm and peaceful Suzie we had all seen her as. It was quiet and awkward as Owen continued to set his equipment up and the waiting seemed to make everyone even more nervous.

When we were finally ready to get going, Tosh went back to her station apologizing that she couldn't look Suzie in the eye. The waiting seemed like it was finally over when Gwen placed the Risen Mitten on Suzie's head. I watched the heart monitor, standing ready with my stopwatch as usual however as usual things didn't particularly go to plan. Suzie had been dead for too long and the Risen Mitten wouldn't work on her. This time it looked like we were going to have to continue the case without the Risen Mitten. I didn't get my hopes up too much though because the last time we thought we couldn't use the Risen Mitten we found our way around that which is exactly what happened here – we remembered the knife Suzie used to kill her victims helped the glove connect with the victim.

A few minutes later we were all stood in Jack's office, watching once again as he opened a Torchwood safe, this time pulling out the knife. Everyone looked at me and I realised they expected another name for the object. Once again I went through the process of rhyming words, finally deciding on 'Life Knife'. Without speaking everyone agreed as we silently made our way back down to the autopsy bay. There was too much tension to speak and joke around about names. When we got back down to the autopsy bay I pulled out my stopwatch, Owen positioned himself by the heart monitor and Gwen placed the Risen Mitten back on her right hand. Jack carefully cut Suzie's arm but nothing happened. Jack then shoved the Risen Mitten straight into Suzie's chest and Suzie immediately awoke. I quickly started the stopwatch before listening to what Suzie had to say. Thirty seconds had passed and Suzie hadn't told us anything useful – this seemed to be another dead end. Suzie didn't have any time to tell us as we began to lose her. That's when Gwen got attached to the Risen Mitten and started to force it. We should have known this was going to happen. Gwen suddenly stepped back from Suzie and Jack grabbed the Risen Mitten off her. They all thought Suzie had gone, that we'd lost her but I was the only one looking at the heart monitor and from what I could see… Suzie was still alive.

Jack and Gwen went down to the interrogation room to try and get Suzie to help with the Pilgrim case. I watched from above as Suzie revealed she had given Max one Retcon pill every single week for two years. I remember the second week after I first joined Torchwood – I had kept a log of how much Retcon we had. I remember noting the retcon levels were going down pretty quickly and explaining this to Suzie who had said that Jack used one once a week for something. When I had asked what for she hadn't answered and had made some excuse about needing the loo or something. I didn't speak to Jack about it – I had been too busy tending to Lisa but if I had done something about it perhaps all this wouldn't be happening… I don't know. It turned out Suzie had only done it to tell someone all about Torchwood – I could understand how she felt, when I first joined I had Lisa to talk about everything to and I had had a bit of experience in Torchwood One. I don't know much about Suzie past but I'm pretty sure she didn't have any experience in talking to team members about everything. Suzie then explained that a girl from Pilgrim was missing from the pictures Tosh had found of all the members of Pilgrim. Suzie explained that Lucy Mackenzie walked in the Wolf Bar.

The team, apart from Tosh, raced off to the Wolf Bar to find Max and Lucy Mackenzie. I excused myself to the archives – they needed to be updated but I also found the fact that a living corpse was walking around the hub and talking.

I'm not really sure about much that happened after then until I was called back up to the main hub by Owen who wanted myself, Tosh and Jack in the conference room. He showed us a clip of Gwen bringing back Mark Briscoe. Energy from the Risen Mitten flowed into his heart and stopped when he died for the last time. Owen then showed Gwen bringing Suzie back. Instead of the energy flowing from the Risen Mitten, the energy flowed out of her heart and when Suzie was meant to die, the energy continued to flow. At that precise moment Suzie was draining the life out of Gwen but did she know she was doing it? All we knew is if we didn't want Gwen to die we only had one option: kill Suzie. To be honest, I would probably feel safer in the hope knowing a living corpse, who had murdered three people, wasn't wondering around the hub. Jack pulled his gun out and ran down to the interrogation room.

I took a file down to the archives as Jack went to kill Suzie when I returned to the hub the lights suddenly went out and the bangs of the doors closing echoed in the air. I could hear Jack calling my name and quickly turned round the corner so he could see me. At first I thought Jack, Tosh and Owen must have triggered the lockdown because Suzie had managed to escape her execution but they apparently hadn't. It turned out Gwen had taken Suzie out of the hub to Gwen's car meaning Suzie must have started the lockdown. The only question was: how? With Gwen only having at least 2 hours left to live things were getting pretty desperate. The team needed to get out of the hub and catch up with Suzie and Gwen before it was too late.

After about ten minutes Jack remembered we had a guest. Jack and Owen ran down to the vaults and when they returned Jack explained our guest was repeating poetry and Owen added that Suzie had planned everything since she joined Torchwood. That was a spooky thought – how could no one had seen it. Perhaps we need tighter security if someone can do that? Then again she had gained everyone's trust and kept to herself pretty much like what I did with Lisa… It's pretty easy to get something unwanted inside Torchwood if you have the teams trust.

As Owen and Jack went through Suzie's entire plan with Tosh I had the idea that the water tower may be able to get signal for a mobile phone. I quickly set to work, only half listening to the rest of the team's conversation and pulled my phone out of my pocket, moving some wires about in the water tower but in the end I succeeded in finding signal. The phone beeped in my hand and I jumped to my feet, it looked like I had found a way of getting out. I called Jack and explained how I had got connection on the phone. Now we had another dilemma: who to phone? I'm not entirely sure whose clever idea it was (please note I am being sarcastic here) but we ended up phoning Detective Swanson. Jack ended up having to admit to almost the entire police force that we were locked inside our base. Thankfully Detective Swanson finally became serious when Jack explained that one of our team was in danger. I sighed as Jack continued to call out lines from the poem. It didn't seem to be working and I began to worry we'd be stuck in the hub for the rest of the night. It was always fate that the last line you try is the one that works and if that was what was going to happen Gwen would be dead before we got to her then Tosh suddenly had an idea claiming if words caused the lockdown then numbers could reverse it. She suggested trying the ISBN. She typed the number into the keyboard and the hub burst back into life. I breathed a sigh of relief – we may just be able to save Gwen in time.

Jack and Owen went to try and save Gwen leaving myself and Tosh at the hub. Tosh was busy typing at her computer – all I could do was pace and hope Owen and Jack got to Gwen in time. The thoughts that entered my head weren't exactly happy thoughts. I tried to push them away but it wasn't working. I kept on thinking about telling Gwen's Rhys about his girlfriend dying. I have never met Gwen's boyfriend but I knew it would be my job to inform him if she died so when Jack called over the coms that the Risen Mitten was keeping Suzie and Gwen connected I ran to help Tosh destroy the Risen Mitten.

When Jack and Owen returned to the hub with Gwen the images of telling Gwen's boyfriend she was dead finally left my head and I left for the morgue to put Suzie back in her rightful place. I looked up at Gwen as he entered the morgue just as I was finishing off the paperwork. Jack didn't seem like he was in a very good mood at all. For some reason I couldn't bear to see him like that so I decided to cheer him up:

"_If you're interested, I've still got that stopwatch," I shrugged as I looked over at him._

"_So?" Jack frowned. I was surprised that he didn't catch on as quickly as I expected him to and I had to explain more than I had hoped to._

"_Well, think about it," I smiled. "Lots of things you can do with a stopwatch." Jack smiled, he finally understood what I was talking about._

"_Oh, yeah. I can think of a few," he said as he turned to look at me._

"_There's quite a list," I added. I didn't really know what I was doing. My heart was saying different things to my brain._

"_I'll send the others home early. See you in my office in ten," Jack said as he looked down at his watch._

"_That's ten minutes and counting," I smiled as I pulled out my stopwatch and started the countdown. Jack turned and left the morgue._

That night was pretty eventful, even if I say so myself but that is a different story…


	9. Invisible Eugene

**It's been a long time since I wrote this but the episode was a bit of a boring one so I lost inspiration. I've also been rather busy but there are enough excuses! Here it is!**

Invisible Eugene 

I've always known this job can get to people but I would never had guessed someone would think a simple RTA had anything to do with aliens so when Gwen made this exact claim – I wasn't sure if she was losing it.

I picked up a call over the police radio about a hit and run incident. At first we had all ignored it – RTA's weren't really our department but when we heard the name Eugene Jones it was hard not to get intrigued. Was it just coincident that the young man who had been constantly trying to talk to Gwen was now dead? After a short debate Jack decided to go and check it out.

As usual I stayed behind in the hub. After what had happened in the countryside I was still weary of going out with the team – even to a RTA. Instead I listened to the conversation over the coms and had to admit Gwen had a good point when she suggested that Eugene may had been hit deliberately and had had something important to show us.

I managed to get out of going to the scene but I couldn't get out of looking through Eugene's belongings. Jack had taking Gwen's theory on board and decided that we'd be able to find this 'important' thing quicker with more people though I don't believe Jack even entered the house and in the end all we found was a collection of supposed alien belongings including rice crispies!

Once we got to the hub Gwen began to asks for me to find out where he had last ate and I began to worry she was beginning to get too attached to the investigation. I went off to do some research of course but not to find out where Eugene had last eaten. Instead I managed to find a red Vauxhall had been stopped outside Carmarthen and the driver (thankfully) had admitted to knocking a man over near Cardiff fitting Eugene's description.

The investigation was finally over according to most of us but Gwen didn't seem to be able to let it go. That evening in the conference room Gwen strangely asked if we thought Eugene committed suicide which seemed like a weird question for Gwen to ask after the investigation had been finished and we solved the crime. She went on to say 'something feels really odd'. Gwen was certain aliens were involved but as Tosh had said, no aliens were involved. At first I didn't know whether to believe her but all the facts pointed to a normal RTA and I was beginning to worry that Gwen was losing her marbles or getting to use to aliens committing the crimes we normally investigate. After a short argument with Owen, Gwen told everyone to forget her theory, saying she had but something about the way she said those to words made me believe she was planning on investigating her theory alone.

I was correct! (Which of course is a bad thing). When I was making the coffee later that day I overheard Gwen telling Owen she'd take Eugene's DVD's back and didn't even complain when Owen told her there would be a fine. She then went straight off for lunch. I didn't tell Jack though, I video shop wouldn't hurt her… would it?

However Gwen was gone for more than an hour and a half and Jack began to get worried. I wondered if I should tell Jack of my suspicions but Owen managed to contact her before I decided whether to tell Jack. She said she would be back soon so I left the subject alone but an hour later she still hadn't returned – I tried to phone Gwen but I went straight to answerphone. At that point I was pretty sure she was going mad. She's always really eager and answers her phone almost as soon as it goes off. I decided she had probably got closer to finding the 'alien' and wasn't listening out for her phone. I then just left it after debating for a few minutes and finally reassuring myself that she'll return to 'normal' when she had seen for herself that Eugene's death was a normal RTA.

Gwen didn't return back to the hub that night, I managed to persuade the others that she called me saying I was ill. I kept trying to contact her but I had no luck. I didn't know if where she was but I decided to give her until the next morning until I explained to the others.

Thankfully when I turned up the next day, Gwen was already there and I managed to inform her that she had been ill the previous day. She didn't really reply and she seemed a bit preoccupied. It seemed to me as if she still hadn't solved her 'alien' mystery. I just hoped she wouldn't disappear again.

She disappeared again. Thankfully this time I didn't have to cover for her. I heard her tell Jack that Eugene had sold an alien eye online for £15000. It turned out Gwen may not have gone mad. An alien may have been involved and Gwen was the only one who saw it. Jack gave Gwen the weekend to find out what happened. All I could hope was she found out what actually happened and we could get back to being a 'proper' team.

On Saturday Gwen sent me a message with a picture attached; asking me to find out which business the logo belonged to. I had no idea what she wanted it for but I found out the logo was for a business called the Happy Cook without asking any questions. I was too relieved to ask questions as it looked as if Gwen may had almost found out what had happened to Eugene.

In one weekend Gwen found out precisely what happened to Eugene Jones. It had been an almost normal RTA. Eugene had got into a small fight with his friends or something like that over an eye. He had ran off across a field and right into the road where he got hit by the car.

Normally that would be where the story ends but Eugene had swallowed The Gogon Sixth eye and we believe he had been following Gwen around during the entire investigation. The one thing we do know is that Eugene saved Gwen's life:

(Please note, this following information was giving to me by Owen mainly though has been confirmed by Gwen very briefly so may not be completely true.) Jack, Owen and Tosh went to pick up Gwen and were outside Eugene's house by the SUV. Gwen had managed to find the Sixth eye which Eugene had swallowed. They were about to leave when Gwen was drawn towards Eugene's house. Without looking she began to cross the road as a car drove down the road. She was almost knocked over and possibly killed just like Eugene but someone had pushed her out of the way – Eugene. After that, Eugene supposedly was taking up to the sky in white light. (Whether all of that is completely true I don't know but I wouldn't jump to say it didn't happen. Life is full of surprises.)


End file.
